July 19 - Are we there yet?

JULY 19

Well, today was the drive up to Beulah. I was really looking forward to the excitement of another 4 hour trip. It HAD to be more fun than the 4 hours on the plane to Detroit. At least that is what I thought. Yes, it was a lovely day, there was no traffic, and the companions were delightful, but honestly... 4 hours in a car? A sock monkey... 4 hours in a car? I loved looking out the windows for a while, but 4 hours?

Wendy did the driving, and Ken did try to entertain me. But all I could think was, "ARE WE THERE YET????" Here's how it went down...

It was really fun looking out the window and asking Wendy to read me the signs. I was so excited because I thought when we saw the Cracker Barrel billboard, we would go there! They have GREAT toys and sometimes sock monkeys... but we didn't go. To be honest, I was a little upset, because I really have not asked for too much on this trip. I have been patient when shlepped to family gatherings, and I thought it would be okay to ask if we could go to Cracker Barrel. I’m just saying…

I asked Ken if I could look out his window for a while. Mostly, I saw a lot of stuff going by really fast, and sometimes drivers who were talking on the phone or singing with the radio. I didn't see any other sock monkeys. Eventually, I got a little tired and decided to just stretch out on the dashboard. 

While looking out the window, I looked up for a second and saw… MONKEY BARS! Well, one monkey bar. Okay. It was not a monkey bar, but that’s what I saw! How fun to swing in the car... well at least up to the point where your head hurts from being upside down, and maybe you are a little carsick! 

Then Wendy asked me if I wanted to “drive” the car! WOO HOOO! That was FUN! After that, I needed something else to do. Ken tried to get me to play with Baby or Puppy or some of my toys, but I didn’t want to do that. I wanted to explore. I found a latch, pulled on it, and part of the car completely OPENED UP! I LOVE the glovebox! How cool is that? Something that is called something that it absolutely is not! It wasn’t a box, and I didn’t see any gloves.

 

In answer to my question “Are we there yet?”, Ken suggested that I get the TourGuide book out of the back pack. I didn’t find it in my backpack and then I realized that he’s such a joker! It was in the BIG backpack! I started reading up on Grand Rapids because Ken told me his friend Charlie was going to be in Beulah and he lives in Grand Rapids, and I wanted to have a frame of reference when I met him so I could say something more intelligent than, “Charlie, did you know that my Girl Frannie was born in East Grand Rapids?”

 

I found some paper and a pen and did a lovely drawing. I call it: Self-Portrait with Still Life.

Then I explored the folder where Ken is keeping the trip information. I figured there might be some candy in there. I was wrong.

 

I liked driving, so I asked Wendy if I could drive again. This time I wanted to drive backward and talk to Ken. She let me. I love driving, but I wish Wendy wouldn't force me to put my hands at 10 and 2 - I'd like to have one hand free to wave to people as they go by. Driving got boring so I decided to check and see if she was speeding (she assured me she was not, but sometimes she does get a lead foot…). I had spent a lot of time looking out Ken’s window, so I decided to get another viewpoint by looking out Wendy’s window for a bit, which required me to jump off the dashboard and down onto Wendy's lap - because how else could I see out the driver's side window?

  

Wendy called me "Please-settle-down-Ernie" too many times, so I went back to Ken, and he let me look at the big map. That might have been a good idea if I were not a sock monkey and if I could read maps…

I was really completely bored, and I really DID want to know if we were there yet. The options for interesting things to do were pretty much exhausted in the front seat, so I snuck into the back seat. I simply could not resist pulling a little joke on Ol’ Kenny, since he’s such a card! I snuck up into his shirt that was hanging there, and yelled, “YO! KEN! CHECK IT OUT!” and then I tried to be very very still, and it was SO hard to not giggle! He looked back and he DIDN’T EVEN SEE ME! I mean, he was saying, "Where's Ernie? I could have SWORN I heard Ernie calling me!" When he turned back to face the front, I yelled, “HEY, COUSIN! LOOKEE HERE!” and then I fixed my eyes in a stare (I’m good at that) and froze! He whipped his head back and still didn’t see me! He was looking, and I guess I was pretty invisible! Oh, it was knee-slappin’ fun! Well, at least a few times. Then that got old.

I hopped down on the seat and decided to see if they had another banana back there somewhere for me. I looked in the snack bag, and I couldn’t find it, so I threw open the cooler and started taking things out. You would have thought that I broke some kind of federal law or something from Wendy’s reaction! There was positively no need for her to shout, “ERNIE! You need to settle DOWN!” Apparently she gets weirded out by the sound of Styrofoam squeaking. Or she’s just edgy. 

In any case, it was very, very upsetting to me. I’m just a little sock monkey. Yes, I'm a primate, but I’m not human. I don’t know how to do “car trip” very well, at least not without a little kid cuddling me! Car trips are stupid. It wasn't nice of her, and I'm not used to hearing her talk to me anything but nice ways, and nice does matter, and she wasn't being nice to me, and I just wanted a snack and to know if we were there yet! 

I started crying and saying it wasn’t fair and were we there yet and that I wanted to go home and my eyes got all wide… Ken saw that I was upset, and he tried to cuddle and comfort me. I think maybe he was stifling a giggle himself a little bit, but it felt good to be cuddled. And I fell asleep for a while. I like Ken much more than I like Wendy right now.

When I woke up and asked Ken, “Are we there yet?” he said, “Almost, Ernie!!!” and then – wouldn’t you just know it? – there was a traffic jam on this 2 lane road, and we came to a complete stop for a while. Oh, it was just too much! Ken helped me play a little at the open window, and then when he was changing the song on the radio, I snuck out and peeked through the windshield, saying, “YO! KEN!”  Well, he didn’t find it as entertaining as I did, and he brought me back in the car. I took a look in the side mirror to see all the cars lined up behind us. It was almost like a parade! And I do so love a good parade!

 

Wendy asked me if I wanted to dance with her to "I Want You Back" by the Jackson 5 while we were still stuck in traffic. I was not done being mad at her, but after a few minutes of dancing to that and "I'm A Believer" by the Monkees (really!), we were best buddies again. It's hard to be mad at a good dancer for very long. 

Eventually, we did get to Beulah, and I was exhausted from the ride. I decided to meet Charlie and Gary and the rest of the people tomorrow, as it was actually pretty nice to be out of the car and not moving anymore!

It was nice to get there yet. And I’m going to make sure to bring more to do for the ride back to Detroit!